Prankster's Passion
by dlahm17
Summary: Now what would you do if you were the best pranksters in all of Hogwarts and some puffed up, cat loving, "High Inquisitor" known as Professor Umbridge decides to control Hogwarts? You start a prank war of course! But who will win? And who will be caught by Filch? This is all up to the Weasley Twins themselves as they try to win the greatest prank war that Hogwarts had ever seen.
1. Great Pranksters

"What the hell was the Minister thinking?!" Fred raged in the halls, "He could've given that position to anyone other than that bloated bit of frog spawn." George nodded in agreement with his twin, "Or how about he not make that stupid position at all. The Hogwarts High Inquisitor, dung if I've ever smelled it. That's just an excuse for him to be a control freak. The little git."

Fred and George walked away from their charms class, the first class they'd ever seen Professor Umbridge ever examine as the 'Hogwarts High Inquisitor'.

"She's insane, isn't she?" Angelina said from behind the twins, "she couldn't give Flitwick a suspension though, he has never done anything wrong in his classes that the ministry wouldn't approve of."

Fred and George split aside to give Angelina room to walk between them. It was time to play a little joke the twins had agreed on before leaving the classroom with Angelina on their heels.

"Well you don't understand the pudgy bi-... witch, now do you, Angelina." Fred said.

"She wants to control the teachers. She'll look for any excuse to suspend someone." George continued on Fred's thought. "But I think that Fred is wrong, she wouldn't suspend Flitwick, he's a god teacher."

"But Fred," Fred told George, "She's crazy. You can't argue with a crazy woman's twisted logic. For all we know she could be a death eater sympathizer, she could be weakening Hogwarts."

"However Fred," George responded, "She really can't beca-"

"Shut it _George_ ," The twins looked in between themselves to see Angelina glaring at the two of them, "That was the lamest trick that has ever been pulled on me. And i'm in you guys' year! YOU!" She pointed at George. "You're George. And YOU!" She glared at Fred, "You're Fred! Now cut this stupid trick out already I've known how to tell differences between you two since Fred took me to the Yule ball, your trick didn't work."

Fred walked in front of Angelina and turned, facing the angry girl. "I'm sorry, what trick didn't work on you, Angelina?" He held a hand to his ear, "I couldn't hear you."

"The stupid prank that both of you pretend you're-" Both twins dove for cover behind the statue of Bartholomew the Blind as a dungbomb George had strapped to Angelina's back while Fred distracted her blew up. Angelina was engulfed by the stench erupting from the homemade explosive blast of blech.

"The stupid prank that was a distraction." George told Angelina as him and Fred high fived and started walking away. They looked pretty pleased with themselves, until Angelina pulled out her wand and tried to blast any twin in hexing distance with a Jelly Legs jinx. The twins ran away faster than a bowtruckle approached with a weed-wacker.

They ran all the way down the great staircase, almost bowling over four prefects and one teacher on the way, and didn't stop until they were safely at the entrance to the Great Hall. Lee Jordan ran up behind them, breathless, and hunched over.

"Good- huff huff- prank- huff- guys. Oh, how did you learn to run so fast?"

"Filch." George started, "Lots and lots of Filch," Finished the second twin.

They walked into the Great Hall and looked over their shoulder to see if Angelina was coming. No angry quidditch players were at the entrance, eager to take revenge on the dungbombers, so the twins assumed they were in the clear. They saw Hermione, Harry, and their brother Ron sit down at the Griffindor table, and they sat down with them. After a quick lunch and conversation about grades and inspected lessons, they left to go scrounge up what mischief they could.

Fred and George walked their way out of the hall, into the entrance hall, and out onto the grounds.

"Maybe we should start pranking Umbridge?" Fred asked thoughtfully.

"I dunno, if she caught us we would probably be arrested for some sort of bull crap that we didn't do. I wouldn't put it past her."

"Well what if we get a whole bunch of people doing it, she'd never track it down to just us."

"Fred, there's no way that we- The other houses?"

"The other houses."

Every house had their own set of pranksters. It was a kind of tradition that the previous pranksters of the house sort of pass on their pranking crowns to a few new first years and let them learn how to make mischief. Fred and George, as befits the kings of pranks, were the sort of leaders of those prankster groups that existed among the houses. Nobody knew about them, but when mischief happened that wasn't Fred or George's, one could normally assume that one of the other pranksters had done it. Nobody actually assumed that of course, it's been Fred and George's monopoly of the prank business for years, everyone always assumed that it was them.

"We could talk to everyone else, but they might not want to do it. We need to offer them something." George contemplated, he rubbed on his chin, racking his brain for ideas before one came to him. "A pra-"

"-nk war." Fred finished and they slapped each other on the back, each congratulating the other on the brilliant idea they both formulated.

"It's brilliant!" George exclaimed, "We could have a prank war with the other houses. First ones to make Umbridge retire early win. If she doesn't retire, then it's whoever pulls off the best prank without being noticed by Filch or Umbridge."

They started walking right back into the hall.

"We need to contact the others, they must still be in the hall for lunch."

"Other whats? Mr. and Mr. Weasley?" A voice dripping with liquid poison said from behind the twins. They turned, and standing there was the puffed up prick herself, Umbridge.

"Oh nothing, Professor." The twins replied automatically.

"No, but do tell. I heard something about the other houses, and I was wondering what could possibly be the rush?"

Fred tapped his foot three times on the ground, George noticed and put his hands in his pockets. If you could see through George's cloak, you would see multiple little gadgets that were designed just for this purpose. The purpose of distraction.

"Well you see, that we were just trying to see who wanted to help us figure out this charms homework we got. It's very difficult, a whole four pages." Fred told Umbridge, stepping forward to put his hands up in a calming gesture.

"I was in your charms class. There was no homework today."

"Oh. Well also there was other subjects involved, such as-"

It was at that moment that George's pocket seemed to detach itself and run off in a haphazard pattern towards the Great Hall. Umbridge shrieked and pointed at what seemed to be a metal endoskeleton surrounded by George's pocket. The little machine ran into the Great Hall and started beeping loudly, drawing all attention over to it. Umbridge took out her wand and marched forward, then blasted the little distraction into a thousand bits of cloth and metal. By the time she turned around again, the Weasley twins were gone.

The twins rested again once they were back inside of Griffindor tower, this day featured a lot of running. They walked up into their dormitory and took out their trunks, then opening them they found replacement parts for George's pocket and the small mechanical creature.

"Well that was a good test of our Decoy Detonators. Maybe they'll be able to sell later this year." George said as he reattached his pocket.

"I doubt it, we'd need to develop them a little bit more. They seem way too fragile right now, one good spell knocks them apart, they need to take at least two."

"Moot point. How do we tell the other pranksters now? Umbridge is going to be watching us."

"Owl. Easiest delivery system ever."

And thus the letters read.

 _To the Prank Master it May Concern,_

 _You are requested by your lords of Pranks to meet at the large oak tree by the lake on Saturday at Lunch. There is urgent news to be discussed. This letter will now explode._

 _The real Pranksters of Hogwarts._

All that was left was what pranks should be done.


	2. The others

"We've gathered here today. On this Hogsmeade weekend. To discuss this bleak moment that's arrived to Hogwarts." George told the audience gathered behind the Three Broomsticks in a somber tone, almost like he was at a funeral. And, thinking on it, Fred decided that it might be the death of fun at Hogwarts.

"This woman, Umbridge, has decided that she must tighten her grip on Hogwarts. This grip, this noose of restrictions, must be stopped before Hogwarts is devoid of laughter." Fred continued on George's statement in an equal tone of somberness. Then his voice switched almost like a light was flipped on behind his mind. "And who else to loosen that grip better, than the greatest group of pranksters that Hogwarts has ever seen!"

The group of ten students surrounding their kings of pranks flinched as Fred changed pace. He gestured around the half circle at the three houses being represented today. All but Slytherin, who's pranksters told Fred and George that they won't be doing anything anymore.

"It's time for a prank war to break this grip over Hogwarts. And just so you have a little incentive to go up against Umbridge, whoever can pull off the best prank will be the heirs to our legacy. We will relinquish our crown of pranks to you."

The small crowd stirred, the Weasley twins giving up their crown? Pretty soon blast ended skrewts would start flying, that's a bad thought.

"But-" The titters in the crowd stopped. "You must earn it. Not only must you beat out every other prankster here, but George and I as well. You beat everyone here, and us, then Hogwarts is yours to prank as you wish."

Fred's words sent a ripple through the pranksters gathered. One of them raised their hand and stepped forward, this one was from Ravenclaw; specializing in creative spellcasting, and one of the most curious of the pranksters.

"Yes?"

"You can't really expect us to do the impossible."

"The wha-?"

"Impossible. Beating you two at pranks is impossible. You're the kings for a reason, your pranks are completely unmatched."

Fred scoffed. "And people said surviving the killing curse was impossible. But we go to school with a living counterargument. People also said that defeating the dark lord was impossible, yet refer to the previously said 'living counterargument' and fifteen years ago he did the impossible at age one. Now what's to say you can't beat a few student pranksters."

The student shrugged, "touche".

The other nine pranksters didn't look as convinced, but Fred and George had discussed before on how to convince the other pranksters. Fred nodded to George, and George reached behind himself to pull out a bag that was stuffed at the brim. When George set the bag down in front of him, the innards of it spilled all over the dirt in the middle of them. From what the others could see of the bag's contents, it was prank devices of the Twins' own design. Everything ranging from a prototype decoy detonator to sweets designed to sicken the user.

George smiled as he saw all of the other student's jaws go slack as they saw the potential behind this little gold mine of destruction. "In order to make this fair. You all have access to the entire selection of Fred and I's pranking materials. Anything that we can use, you can use, and anything we make for this war we will show to you. If you win, not only are you now the undisputed kings of Hogwarts, but the owners of a lifetime supply of tricks."

"Oh holy crap." One of the others said. It basically summed up the entirety of what everyone else was thinking in three words.

"Any questions?" Fred asked. Nobody responded, each keeping their eyes only on the bag of goodies. "I'll take your silence as a no."

George let go of the bag and let the other pranksters have at it. Each of them rushed forward and dug their hands into the bag, yanking out handfuls of pranking items. They all had giddy looks on their faces, until one touched the mouse trap George stuck in the bag. After that, they were rather careful.

"First prank of the war." Fred said, "have fun with the competition."

They left the other pranksters scrabbling in their bag of treats. Fred and George walked side by side up the main street of Hogsmeade and stopped by their favorite shop: Zonkos. When they walked in the door a little bell rang.

Zonkos was clearly not doing as well as it had been in the past. Some shelves were empty where they were overflowing years before. The shopkeeper waved to the twins as they walked in, "Hey boys. How are ya doing?"

Fred and George waved back, "Stocking up." they said.

"For what."

"Ah man, you know us. We don't tell anyone anything. They might steal our little secrets from us."

The shopkeeper smiled warmly. "Good point boys. What do you need."

The twins pulled out a list and handed it to the shopkeeper. He put down the toy he was tinkering with and put on reading glasses. He frowned as he read the list, eyes reading through each item and quantity carefully.

"Oh my god." He muttered under his breath and put the piece of parchment down. "Are you boys planning on destroying Hogwarts?"

The devilish smiles of the twins answered well enough, but Fred had to put in: "Well that was the idea. Is there a problem?"

The shopkeeper laughed deeply, wheezing as he tried to catch his breath and tears streamed down his face. "Take pictures!" He yelled through the guffaws. "I haven't laughed this hard in a while, and this is with just the thought of Hogwarts being razed by the two of you. When you actually do it, make sure you tease Filch for me and have somebody take pictures of the carnage!"

"Will do."

The shopkeeper gave them a small bag of their supplies, only a small fraction of what they paid for, and a promise that he'll keep the rest in stock for them to pick up the next time they stop by.

Fred and George left Zonko's joke shop and walked farther up the road to the next place they were needed, the Hog's head. Hermione told them that there was something about getting under learning how to defend one's self. And that meeting sure turned out to be fun. They were even able to threaten Zacharia Smith with a dungbomb cleaner that they got at Zonko's. Harry and Hermione talked for a bit about their little club, but Fred and George's minds were thinking about the look Umbridge will have when they see their first prank. Ooh, she better watch herself.


	3. First Prank

"Explosives?"

"Check."

"Spherical containers?"

"Check."

"Food Coloring?"

"Check."

"Girls' make-up?"

"Ah- one second." George walked outside their dormitory, leaving Fred alone with his list and the pile of supplies they'd been collecting. He went down to the common room and began talking to random girls he saw down there, asking for any make-up that they had. Most gave negative responses until he pulled out a galleon and offered to pay for the make-up.

When George walked back up to his dormitory, his arms were laden with all sorts of make-up and lipstick containers, some magical and some not. But it didn't matter if they were magical.

"Check."

"Great, let's begin."

George dumped the make-up on the pile of supplies, then dug around inside the pile to find a cauldron and pull it out. Fred set up the cauldron stand and poked it with his wand, lighting the base on fire as George set the cauldron on top. With instructions seared to the inside of their memories, Fred and George began working on a concoction.

Red steam began filling the dormitory and a smell of rotten eggs spread with it. But the twins kept working, their war with Umbridge more than worth smelling badly for a few days... or weeks. Lee Jordan came up into the room while they worked, and instantly turned around as he took one whiff of the air.

It took hours to finish, but with the constant attention only the Weasley twins would give to their mixture, it was done. They took the red, steaming sludge from the cauldron and poured it into their container. The sludge hissed and popped as it was moved.

The instant that the container was filled, the sludge hardened into a sphere three inches in diameter.

Fred held up a hand and George did the same, indulging in a celebratory high five.

"It's not her favorite shade of pink, but it will do." They said together with matching devilish smiles. Fred began setting up more containers while George poured in the sludge, and pretty soon they had a full arsenal of sludge balls. Somewhat like snowballs in their consistency, thankfully though these balls did not melt. Fred and George carefully piled up the sludge balls and placed them in plastic bags for protection.

The twins washed their hands once done and put on deoderant and cologne to disguise the smell, then walked down to the common room. Lee went over to them immediately, "What in the world were those?" He asked, "They smelled worse than if a dead hippogriff was stuffed in its own manure for two days." It might have just been George's own imagination, but was the smell still seeping from their room?

"Those," George told Lee, "Are the opening shots of a war. Just you wait, Lee, it'l be good." Fred nodded in agreement of his brother's statement while Lee simply shrugged.

"It better be. That smell is never getting out of the dormitory. Everyone could even smell it from down here. They sent me up to investigate, but the second I smelled- I mean saw- You two, I knew you were up to something. When will the prank take place, and against who?"

Fred and George looked at each other and shrugged, telling Lee couldn't hurt.

"Tomorrow, and our target is Umbridge."

"Really?" Lee's eyes widened, "You're pranking Umbridge already? But the war just started." Lee, of course, heard of the war; he was one of the Griffindor pranksters.

Conversations in the common room fell silent as Lee mentioned the pink menace.

"Ixnay on the Arway." Fred hissed at Lee, then he raised his voice to address the whole room. "Yeah, we thought that since Umbridge wants her new position in Hogwarts, she should have a welcome present. A little something to show Umbridge what we think of her trying to be an important part of Hogwarts. And who better to give out that present than us?"

The room was silent for a moment, then a second year sitting in a couch started clapping. Cheers erupted from all the watching students as they caught on. Nobody there was a friend of Umbridge's, big surprise, and they all wanted to see her get what's coming.

Fred and George bathed in the praise for a bit, then George held up his hand for silence and made everyone swear to secrecy. His exact words for the reasoning were something along the lines of: "We don't want Umbridge to get excited about her present before we deliver it."

With those words the twins began to wait, playing exploding snap and wizard's chess with others until the moon had risen and Hermione had told everyone off about the curfew. The twins went into their dormitory, noticing that their companions had all cast the bubble head charm on themselves as the dormitory still smelled bad, and grabbed a few backpacks. Stuffing the bags filled with the sludge balls in the backpacks, they kept a silent vigil until the moon was on its decent. Fred checked the time, 2:00, and nodded to George.

It was time to go.

They slipped out of their beds, already fully dressed, and put on the backpacks.

"Are you ready?" George whispered.

"Yeah, let's go."

The door slowly creaked open as the Weasley twins emerged. They made their way down the stairs and out the Fat Lady's portrait, who continued to snore soundly.

Going was slow through the school, Filch was on night guard duty and seemed to be all over the place as the twins snaked their way through corridors while gradually getting closer to Umbridge's office.

The ghosts didn't help much either, wandering the hallways while talking to each other. More than once did Fred and George freeze while Filch investigated noises made by a ghost.

And then there was Peeves, who Fred and George ran into only ten feet away from Umbridge's office. Almost literally ran into. They turned the corner and there he was, two feet away, arming a prank of his own.

Peeves looked up from his work, which seemed to be a bear trap with cat food as bait, presumably for Mrs. Norris.

"Oh," Peeves practically yelled as he noticed the twins, "The Wee Weasleys. Off to stir up some trouble."

These past few years Peeves and the twins had a sort of respectful rivalry, each trying to outdo the other.

"Yeah, Peeves," Fred whispered, "But what are you doing here?"

"The same!"

George grimaced, Filch was sure to be running around the corner at any second. He motioned to Fred that they needed to go and fast.

"Well, good luck with that, Peeves. Hope it works out." Fred tried to walk off towards Umbridge's office, but to no avail. Peeves still held them back.

"You wouldn't be trying to outdo my Ink Express from last year, would you?"

the Ink Express was a prank that Peeves had set up. It involved around a hundred water balloons filled with ink and one student who desperately needed a shower and new clothes right after the prank was done.

"No, no." Fred quietly tried to console the semi-transparent man, "in fact, that's where we got the inspiration for this prank." Fred motioned for George to follow up on that.

"Right, there's no way we could overshadow the Ink Express, not when we are taking inspiration from that."

Peeves looked back to his trap "Fine, Weasers... have fun tonight." The twins listened intently once Peeves was quiet, and to their absolute surprise: there was no Filch ready to end the prank right there. Fred pointed his wand at Umbridge's door and opened it. They went inside.

To Fred, it seemed as if every centimeter of the room was a shade of pink or magenta. He was forced to grip his stomach as a wave of nausea washed over him.

"Let's get this done quick, her color scheme is making me sick."

Fred and George took off their backpacks and began to set up the prank, setting the bags of balls on either side of the door. George then used his deft hands to set up a tripwire right under the door crack. When the tripwire was set to the bags on the sides George gave Fred the thumbs up.

Fred looked around the room, wishing he could see the ending of this prank tomorrow. But odds are that Umbridge wouldn't let anyone in here once those balls did their work. They sneaked their way out of the room, careful not to trip their own trap, and made their way back to the dormitory. Or at least they tried.

Filch went around the corner the second the door to Umbridge's office clicked as it closed.

"Wha-" Filch got out, seeing two dark figures in the Hogwarts hallways, "Who are you fiends?" Filch took a step forward, and screamed. His foot had stepped into Peeve's trap. Blood dripped down Filch's leg as the bear trap spikes dug into him.

Fred looked at the man, Filch was screaming for help. George was already running for the dormitory, but Fred took out his wand.

"Reducto." He said. The bear trap dissolved around Filch's leg and Filch collapsed, tears of pain streaming down his wrinkled face. "Sorry, Filch."

Fred ran back to his dormitory, falling to sleep in seconds as he lay down on his bed.

The next day Filch was nowhere to be found, people were talking about how he went to the hospital wing late last night because of a prank by Peeves. Fred and George wandered over to Umbridge's office and waited there for her to arrive. They pulled out books, not that they were actually reading, and watched her walk up and unlock her door.

The second she stepped in an explosion rocked the hallway, spraying red goo everywhere. Umbridge screamed as her office was coated in the sludge, and the sludge was all over her as well. She looked like a shiny, red, snowman.

All that day, she was eyeing Fred and George, looking at them like she knew they did this. She hadn't been able to find a way to get off the goo, the magical glue that stuck it onto her was too powerful for her to do anything to it. But Filch's pain plagued Fred.

"Was that my fault?" He asked George that day after charms class.

"Was what your fault?"

"Filch... his leg."

"Filch was the one who stepped into it, he would've done it whether we were there or not."

"I hope you're right, George. Otherwise... we may have taken his leg off."

A/N: sorry this chapter is late, I was busy all last week and couldn't type it out until today.


	4. Angelina

Thankfully, or not, Filch's leg did not have to be taken off. He was able to hobble over to the Hospital Wing, and Madame Pomfrey fixed it up faster than Umbridge turned the DADA class into a living hell. While Fred and George were enjoying a well earned break at lunch, he was already back on duty handing out detention slips for "Enjoying life" or "Too much Fun".

"Hey, what's this for?" Angeline Johnson spouted off at the caretaker as he handed her a slip of paper.

"Read the damn thing."

Angeline looked down at the paper in her hand, "Breathing loudly?" She said. "I'm getting a detention for BREATHING LOUDLY!" Filch handed her a second paper.

"SPEAKING TOO LOUD!" Angelina roared, "I'LL SHOW YOU SPEAKING TOO LOUD YOU STUPID LITTLE... GAAAH!" Angeline crossed her arms and stuffed her hands in her pockets, "I really hope that leg's hurting you." She mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Filch said all too innocently.

"Nothing."

"Good." Filch limped away, gripping the marks on his skinny leg. Angeline watched him and marveled how the leg didn't fully come off. She then looked at the detention slips and pulled out her wand. She placed them on top of her wand and focused. "Flagrate." The papers burst into flame, ash flying off from them as they turned into a flare on top of her wand.

She walked away from the hallway trailing ash and mumbling about old men that need to be put down before they corrupt the next generation. She wandered all the way into the Great Hall without noticing, and was sitting down next to Fred and George to get her food before even looking up.

"Oi, Angelina, you okay?" George asked his quidditch captain. "You don't seem right in the head."

"I... Don't seem right?! _I'm_ the one who isn't right in the head?"

"Oh crap." George grumbled, realizing that he was the one who pulled the pin out of that grenade. Fred watched Angelina's anger slowly boil over and plugged his ears just in time.

"I'M THE ONE NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD? THAT SQUIB CARETAKER IS THE ONE NOT RIGHT IN THE HEAD! HE'S GOT NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO ACTUALLY HAVE FRIENDS 'CAUSE ALL HE DOES IS TRY TO KILL PEOPLE BY WORKING THEM TO DEATH IN DETENTION! I SWEAR THAT IF HE DECIDES TO GIVE OUT ONE MORE DETENTION THEN I'M GOING TO STICK MY WAND UP SOMEWHERE UNPLEASANT AND USE A STINGING JINX!"

The entire Great Hall looked at Angelina like she was just a howler that exploded, which wasn't far from the truth. Fred pulled his fingers out of his ears and slunk lower in his seat, trying to be unseen to the rest of the room. George merely tried to regain his ability to hear, Angelina was two feet away from his ears and he didn't plug them like Fred did.

"ow..." George said weakly, "Angelina, how do you get those vocal chords. I think the merpeople have a ringing in their ears."

Angelina looked at the Weasley twins, "Sorry guys. Filch really pissed me off."

"We could tell. What did he do?"

Angelina looked for the slips of paper, then realized that she had burned them. "He gave me two detentions for breathing loudly and speaking too loudly. Then the damn caretaker just limped away, I hope that his leg is really hurting him."

Fred's face reddened. George put an arm around Angelina, "I don't think that we should talk here anymore, Miss Johnson, too many people are watching. Maybe we could continue this conversation somewhere else? Fred and I have a little proposition for you." Angelina's gaze shifted to encompass the whole hall and saw that nearly everybody had eyes on her, she nodded.

"Good. Meet us in the common room in around thirty minutes. And try not to kill anyone before then."

"Okay." Angelina said meekly. Fred and George got up and walked out of the hall.

In the next thirty minutes after Fred and George had left, Angelina simply tried to eat a little ham and cheese sandwich and not attract any attention. The hall was deathly silent as it looked at Angelina, silently judging her. She left rather quickly and rushed up the stairs to the common room. Fred and George were already there waiting for her. As she watched, two sickles went from Fred's hand to George's, a bet.

"Told you she'd still be alive."

"Yeah, you win this one."

Angelina shook some of her hair out of her face, "So what is this 'little proposition' you have for me?"

Fred nodded and started, "So we got this vibe from you that you aren't really friends with Filch right now, and we were wondering if you might want revenge on what he's done to you." Angelina perked visibly at the mention of revenge.

"We, in fact, have started a prank war against Umbridge and her followers, without them knowing of course. And we could use some help keeping Filch away. That's where you come in, we want you to make sure that Filch is far far away from us by the time we get done setting up our pranks. You're free to do whatever you want to him, short of killing the man, and we'll help you set any traps up for him."

Angelina thought for a moment, "What do you mean, short of killing. Can I kill him a little bit? Or at least threaten his life?"

George sighed, "No killing. That's one of the rules of the war. Now, are you in? Or do we have to kill you to keep our war a secret?"

"I'm in."


	5. Dual Effort

The next day, before classes, there was another prank done to Umbridge. One of the Hufflepuff pranksters decided to sneak a grindylow into Umbridge's desk, when she opened the door the grindylow jumped out and tried to choke her to death. She broke the fingers of the grindylow before it could do anything and then slammed a heavy book on it's head until it died.

Unfortunately the kid who had dropped the grindylow into her desk was caught as he left her office. An interrogation ensued from Filch and Umbridge, and they found out about the grindylow. The Hufflepuff, however, told them that he had hid it elsewhere and Umbridge was surprised when it exploded from her desk to wrap it's hands around her throat.

The poor kid decided to tell Fred and George after classes that day, and after serving extreme punishment, that he didn't want to participate in the war anymore. He seemed rather shaken up, and scars were prevalent on both his hands, shining white on the pink skin. Angelina was there with the twins planning her participation in their next prank when the Hufflepuff walked up to them to tell them what had happened, but after seeing that she simply set her jaw and asked what else could she do.

"Well," George told her, "You could be our test subject for the next prank we have planned out... we haven't tested whether it might work or not."

"Haha, very funny." Angelina sarcastically told George, "I'm not going anywhere near your untested pranks. I was talking about me making sure that Filch doesn't get anywhere close to you... any preferences on what I should do?"

Fred looked at George, "Not kill him. But other than that you have complete free reign on what you can do with him. Turn him purple for eternity for all I care... hell, that may actually give him a sense of humor. But just don't kill him."

George stared at his twin, "You've been rather keen on not killing him... you were never this way before. What makes you want to keep him alive this time?"

"Aah, well we can't let the other pranksters have an easy time with not having to deal with a caretaker. There should be some challenge in there, otherwise it wouldn't be fun.

Angelina nodded, then picked up the supplies she borrowed from the Weasley twins and stuffed it into her bag, "Wish me luck."

"Hell with that... we're the ones who are trying to take down the pink menace. We need more luck than you do."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

She hoisted the bag filled with the supplies over her shoulder and walked off from their calm spot near the lake that the Hufflepuff had asked to meet them at. The twins watched her go, then looked down at the remaining supplies and steeled themselves. They replaced their supplies in their bag and hoisted up their own bags to their shoulders.

While leaving they saw the Hufflepuff boy talking to one of his friends over near the Forbidden Forest, he saw Fred and George leave and nodded to them. They nodded back and strode into the castle, ignoring everybody walking by them to go outside. One person tried to stop them and ask where they were going, but the Weasley twins acted as if they hadn't heard the person and was instead in a riveting conversation of their own.

* * *

Angelina walked down the halls, looking for her target, Filch. She had one hand in her left pocket where a nasty surprise awaited the evil old caretaker, and the other in her right, which had a bag of sweets. She took out an Every Flavor Bean and popped it into her mouth, "Blegh!" She screamed a spat out the bean. "Rotten Eggs? Bleargh!"

She decided after the evil bean that the next person to get the Weasley Prank treatment just may have to be Mr. Botts. She also decided that the next time she takes her hands out of her pockets would be to release the left pocket surprise. She passed by Professor Mcgonagall and stopped, pulling her hands out of her pockets and turning to get the Professor's attention.

"Excuse me? Professor Mcgonagall? Can I have some help?"

Mcgonagall turned around, "Yes, Miss Johnson? Would you need some help hiding from Lee Jordan again, did he try to ask you out for a fifth time this year?"

"Not this time, I'm looking for Filch."

Professor Mcgonagall's expression instantly turned sour, "I don't know what you'd want to see him for, he hasn't done anything else for that witch Umbridge, has he? We still can wander our halls without having to worry about the two of their's medieval discipline, can we?"

"No, Professor." Angelina said quickly, "I have a present to give him from a few friends of mine."

The professor's eyes narrowed at those words. Then an answer washed over her as she made the connection between 'her friends' and the two twins that Angelina'd been talking to recently. "Ah," She said, "I see. Well I think he'd be delighted to receive what's coming to him. He's over in the quidditch pitch nagging at the Ravenclaw team for being excited about having a chance to win, the quidditch players were celebrating a good practice last night and he decided that they were really too rambunctious. I think that a present from... your friends... right now would be just the perfect thing for him."

"Thanks Professor!"

Angelina swore that as she walked away she saw Mcgonagall let the small portion of a smile show on the corners of her mouth.

* * *

The twins hustled through the crowded entryway to try and make it over to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom before any teacher saw them. Thankfully they were able to blend in with the crowd of black-coated Hogwarts students. They got through there without being seen and made their way to the DADA classroom. Once inside they pulled out their supplies and wands and began casting spells.

George smiled as the spells worked in front of their eyes... then pulled his robes tighter on his body as the freezing temperatures from the spells hit him.

"Let's get going before we freeze." He told Fred and Fred nodded his agreement. They got out of there quickly and ran back down the hall to join up with the group that was walking outside.

"Good job, mate." Fred whispered to his brother. "Now let's hope Angelina did her job and kept Filch distracted."

* * *

"You all need to be more quiet, otherwise I will have a word to give to the Headmaster and the Inquisitor!" The old man yelled as he left the locker rooms on the quidditch pitch. Angelina saw him leave and quietly cursed him as she saw him. Then, disguising her sour attitude at him, she cheerfully called out to him.

"Excuse me, Mr. Filch?"

"Eh? What is it you want?"

"Could you please come with me? Peeves is causing a mess."

Filch looked at her suspiciously, then apparently decided that Peeves making a mess was a bigger risk than Angelina. He told her to lead the way and she took him to where she took great care to set up her trap. The path leading from the castle to the pitch.

She ran along the side of the path, in the grass, and Filch was in the middle peppering her with questions. By the time that they were approaching the trap, Angelina had to make up a whole story about Peeves and his trap and who was caught in it. She just hoped the story held up by the time he was let out of the hospital wing.

She passed by the bush that she had set the trap up at and two seconds later Filch ran by it. A bubble exploded from the bush and encompassed the path, surrounding Filch and lifting him in the air. He screamed as the bubbled took him higher, passing above trees easily twenty feet, then one tree brushed up against the bubble and it exploded in a blast of suds.

Filch fell.

and fell.

All twenty feet to the ground. And when he hit a massive crack split the air. Filch gripped his legs, both turned at angles that shouldn't be possible for humans to make. Out of one poked the small white of bone and the red of blood leaving the leg's thin layer of skin that was recently weakened by Peeves' bear trap.

Vomit threatened to show itself from Angelina, but she held it in and picked up Filch with magic.

"I told you Peeves was setting up pranks."

She didn't really get more of an answer than a crying Filch.

* * *

"So what happened to Filch?" Asked George later that night to Angelina.

"Two broken legs, one of them was really bad. He'll be just fine, Pomfrey got those bones fixed in seconds but forced him to stay there and rest instead of going after Peeves with a cannon."

"Good," Fred told her, "Just you wait until tomorrow's classes to see what you helped us cook up. Thankfully Filch will be in the Hospital Wing overnight, so he can't check in on his favorite pink puffball's room. And we've got her class first thing tomorrow, so we've got a front row seat."

"Can't wait."


	6. Results

"Front row seats, you said. We'll see if those will do more harm than anything." Angelina told the two twins as they waited outside the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The twins and their hired help leaned against the opposite wall to wait for Umbridge to unlock and open the door. None of them had slept in that day, waking early to get breakfast and take their positions on the wall.

Fred leaned out and looked both ways, no Umbridge coming.

"Can you at least tell me what the prank actually was?" Angelina pleaded.

"Sorry," The two gingers said together, "No, we really can't. That'll ruin it."

"Especially with how much work we put into pulling this thing off. With a new liability known as Miss Johnson, this is a new risk that we can't afford to take." Fred said with sarcastic apology.

"Now if you hadn't decided that you wanted Filch to be your responsibility." George interjected.

"Then maybe-" Fred.

"-You might-" George.

"-Have seen-"

"-This prank-"

"As an innocent bystander!" They finished together with flair. Though both were careful not to yell the last portions out too loud as some prying ears may be anywhere, as pranksters they learned the hard way to understand just what's private material.

Angelina poked her own head out and looked down the hall, then the breath left her lungs. "Guys," She whispered, "Umbridge is coming." The two twins looked where she was looking and saw the pink woman striding down the hall like she wanted nothing less in her life but to suck all the joy out of students. The twins looked at Angelina and grinned like twin devils.

"Get ready." They whispered back to her, and then acted like they were innocently reading books: They pulled out library books and stuck their noses in them. Though they made sure that a view of the classroom was possible.

Only a few students, other than the Weasley twins and Angelina, were there. Mostly bookworms, or bored people with nowhere else to be. Boy, they made the right day to be here.

Umbridge looked at the doorknob, jiggled it and realized that it was unlocked from when she'd locked it last night. Fred stifled back a curse as he realized what he had forgotten, biting down on his tongue he kept watching. Umbridge stared at the doorknob curiously, no doubt running the possible situations in her mind, and pulled her hand back. Then, apparently deciding that the threat was minimal to a 'Trained Wizard' and the 'Hogwarts High Inquisitor to boot'. The hand reached out to the doorknob.

Turned it slowly.

And opened the door.

 _Whoomp!_

A large pile of white, fluffy, stuff careened out of the classroom to envelope Umbridge. The pink lady was completely covered by it as it flooded out into the hall, one couldn't even see the top of her pink hat. One of the bookworms walked up to the white substance and looked at it. He stared for a moment, transfixed by what just happened, then turned and declared to the surrounding crowd, and submerged Umbridge, that...

"This is snow!"

The students surrounding the class were frozen for a moment, most now looking at the Weasley twins as if they knew it was theirs. Fred, George, and Angelina all put hands in their pockets and acted nonchalant.

All the students then walked up and attempted to dig out Umbridge. She was kicking and screaming like it was her birthright, but all that effort was nothing under ten feet of snow. Only once she was fully out did she actually try to speak... try, and fail, to speak. She opened her mouth, then it clamped straight shut and she strode off in the opposite direction dripping snow and water.

Fred, George, and Angelina shared the traditional high five for a completed prank.

Fred then turned himself and addressed the crowd that had just been assisting Umbridge get out.

"Well..." He said, "Don't just stand there! It's snow!"

Fred reached down and packed a snowball tightly, then threw it straight into the crowd of students. The snowball splattered right on one of their faces, but they didn't react until another person decided to land a snowball right on George.

George could feel the wetness travel down his back, and when he turned around, George pointed at Angelina. However there were small flakes of snow on George's hands, and before he could do anything, Fred responded with his own snowball.

This was the point that the other students caught on to the fact that there was no Umbridge, no class, and free snow.

So like any smart students, they began a snowball war.

First it started off as a sort of free-for-all, with everybody nailing their friends in the face. But that quickly progressed to a fight between friend groups, where friends would launch snow at other groups. That also progressed into a two sided, no holds bared, war. All the while Fred and George were just watching with Angelina by their side.

"Hopefully Filch learns his lesson." Angelina said.

"Nope," George told her, "He won't."

"Huh? What makes you say that?"

"All the times we've pranked him. All he does is get angrier."

Angelina glared at the twins, who developed a sudden interest in the snowball war.

"Well, it's not like you didn't get revenge!" Fred said, "We helped you were you said we need to help you with. Now if he gets even more mad at you and you want even more revenge, you can just come back to us. We have hundreds of pranks left, some designed to stop Filch directly without him ever knowing about it, some made to create chaos, and some designed just to launch a flying bogey up Umbridge's wig. Just tell us when you want revenge, and you can take it out on whoever you want."

Angelina's face had acquired a look that basically told Fred "If I didn't like you, you would be dead."

Fred liked that look on her.

A/N: sorry about the shorter chapters, school just started for me which means that I have a lot more responsibilities. I can't work as hard on chapters anymore, but I will stick to my schedule and upload ever monday (By U.S. time). Tell me what prank ideas you have, and what I should do next in the comments. And as always: Have Yourselves A Great Day! Dlahm Out!


	7. Planning for the Finale

The look from Angelina kept burrowing holes through Fred's mind, it made him nervous. he may have liked that "If I didn't like you you'd be dead" look, but over time it started looking like she was contemplating how best to straight up kill him and make it look like a prank. Fred decided that the look should stop, so he went inside the Defense Against The Dark Arts classroom.

Their magic had worked, and worked well. Inside the classroom was a miniature blizzard. Students were all over the place in there throwing snowballs left and right. Most shots went wide as the student's hands were getting numb from the cold. Fred found where his desk would be in the snow and sat on top of it, contemplating future pranks.

 _Nobody can compete with us, we're the kings of pranking. But we can't fight Umbridge alone. We need to make sure that others would fight and not feel like it's impossible to beat us. We need to step down for a bit._

He sat there for the whole class period, considering different plans they could use while making sure that the other pranksters got their fill of pranking Umbridge to hell and back. Eventually George joined him.

"Hey, Fred, the class is about to end. What the hell are you doing in here for the whole class period? It's been snowed out."

"We need to stop our pranking for a little bit, George, otherwise it's just going to be us against Umbridge."

George was taken aback by Fred's answer. "What do you mean? Why would we stop pranking?"

"I mean that there's been only one prank done by the other pranksters, and that may discourage them all. We can't fight Umbridge on our own, we need our prankster army at our back. I'm not saying that we shouldn't prank, but let's hold back a bit. We've done two in a single week, let's cut it back a bit."

George and Fred argued their whole way to the next class, and the next, and the next. George saying that it's their own fault if they feel it's too dangerous, while Fred argued against continuous pranking. Eventually it came down to the final class and George conceded.

"Fine, Fred. But we still need to keep up the pressure just a little bit, to give the pranksters a little incentive."

"Of course. Now tell me, do we still have our stock of Fainting fancies?"

"Nope, we sold all of them last week."

"Good. Now there's just one thing left to do."

"What is that, Fred?"

"Plan the final prank."

* * *

The final prank was anticipated to be the ultimate in what the twins could do. They didn't let anyone in when they were working on planning it, and not even Lee or Angelina knew what it was. Fred and George started isolating themselves little by little to put more energy into their planning, only coming out for classes and food. Harry needed them once during the year, and their pranks were resumed right then to assist the guy, but Fred and George only released several other pranks during the year.

It came down to the other pranksters. Once they saw Fred and George take a backseat in the war they took to the front lines, annoying Umbridge at any opportunity. Often the pranks would be so close together that Umbridge wouldn't know which prankster had hit her, but she always assumed that it was Fred and George if she had no proof.

Then came the fleeing of Dumbledore, when he left Fred and George agreed on what they should do: take their part once again. The fireworks were a phenomenal success and everyone expected them to end on that, but Fred and George had one last prank planned: the finale.

* * *

"Angelina" came a voice from the shadows behind the locker room for the Griffindor team. She'd just had practice, and it was horrendous, Ron could never be a valued team member. She jumped back and pulled out her wand; it would never do to be caught unawares by an Inquisitorial Squad member.

A hand reached out from the shadow and grabbed at her face, dragging her back while stifling her scream.

"Calm down, it's just me." Fred whispered. Angelina calmed down as her eyes adjusted to the late day shadows and she saw Fred there.

"What the hell, Fred." Angelina whispered back, apparently Fred demanded being quiet, "Why the secrecy?"

"I don't want anybody else to see us talking to you. George and I are planning the finishing blow to Umbridge and we need your help with distracting Filch again."

Angelina shuddered as she remembered Filch's nasty attitude from earlier in the year, it hadn't ceased one bit with both legs broken and one leg broken twice. "Wait," she said whilst realizing something, "The fireworks weren't your ending prank?"

"No."

"Then what is."

Fred grew deathly silent. Angelina looked at his eyes, and saw a little bit of condensation in them.

"Okay, something big then?"

No answer.

"Okay." Angelina let the silent grow a little bit, "What do you want me to do?"

"Not hurt him this time, just distract him long enough for us to set up the magic."

"Done, when do you want this?"

"Next week."

Fred walked off. When he got back to their dorm he saw George there setting up the final touches. A nod between them brought in the harsh reality of the knowledge that this was their last week of school.

A/N: sorry, it's a bit shorter. But, the next chapter will be the last, the final prank and you know what it is. I've really enjoyed writing this so far, so let me hear your thoughts.


	8. The True Kings of Hogwarts

_One spell, and one small box, that's all it would take to never come back to Hogwarts again. The second they left it would be done. The second we wave our wands and say this, Umbridge will know who the real kings of Hogwarts are, and she would never stand for somebody else to be in her way. We'd need to go._

Fred was pondering in the dormitory on whether they should actually go on with their finale. So far they'd remained more or less anonymous, Umbridge didn't have any proof, but it would be their last prank at Hogwarts if they actually did this. That was the plan.

Fred opened his mouth to speak to George, who was sitting in his bed, then shut it.

"Do you think Angelina knows how important it is to delay or distract Filch this time?"

Fred looked up and saw George's mouth move, "I don't know, George. She had better do her job right, otherwise this'll be for naught."

 _Two words. One spell._

This may have been their last night. The sun gone from Hogwarts' sight, fallen out of favor in the sky for the moon.

Fred and George went to sleep.

* * *

The birds were chirping when Fred and George woke up. This prank, they'd decided with Harry Potter, would be his distraction to break into Umbridge's office. She would have to catch them, but if Filch caught them before the prank was complete then everything was over.

"Let's go, George. Last day at Hogwarts."

They had located where their brooms were being kept the previous day, and had practiced the summoning charm just for this. They were ready for it. Fred pocketed the small box that kept their last prank, and motioned for George to follow him. The day was moot, they hadn't bothered doing any homework, but the teachers didn't really bother them about it. Flitwick even gave a nod in their direction, no doubt for their fireworks prank, and Fred smiled grimly as he had no idea what was coming.

The day passed in an absolute flash, classes melded together to form a blur of teaching, and all too soon for Fred, it was the end of classes for the day. At 4:30 they walked to Gregory the Smarmy's corridor and Fred set the box down.

He looked at George, who nodded, and they lifted their wands together and chanted the spell they'd practiced for days on end to get right. This was the ultimate prank.

The box shook, rattled, and finally exploded into a swamp. The whole corridor was stuck in the muck and vines, trapped like a spider in a web.

The twins were at the edge of the swamp, waiting, when Angelina came looking for them.

"I gave Filch a forged document." She told them, "He thinks that he can whip students now. But from what I can see, that's well worth it. You've outdone yourselves. This is phenomenal."

"Thanks," Fred smiled warmly.

"But," said Angelina, "You should run. If you go now, Umbridge won't catch you. She'd have no proof."

George shook his head, "Not this time, Angelina. We need to be seen. Now, mind running off to Umbridge and telling her that we've got a little present set up in Smarmy's hallway?"

Angelina outright refused, "Why? If she catches you then you're going to be tortured for days. We all know what she does to students."

"We're not going to be caught, just seen."

George's melancholy voice struck right through Angelina to hit her directly in her heart. She nodded, and ran off to Umbridge's office, passing Harry on the way.

"Well," Fred told George, "it was nice pranking here-"

"But we're finally done-"

"Years gone-"

"Days wasted on single pranks-"

"All worth it." They said together, and shook hands. Down the hallway they could hear the distinct clicks of Umbridge's pink heels hitting the floor as she sprinted towards them. The twins got up and shook the melancholy looks off their faces, they were going... no going back.

* * *

Fred saw Harry come down the stairs and stop behind Umbridge, she'd been pestering them for minutes on end without hearing any responses from the dual gingers, but now their job was done. They arranged their faces into something like they were mice caught by a mean cat who was playing with them.

"So," said Umbridge triumphantly. "You think it amusing to turn a school corridor into a swamp, do you?"

Fred looked her in her pudgy eyes directly and unflinchingly thought, _You pompous witch, you don't know how badly I want to curse you into oblivion. But I'll settle for one final jab with a red hot poker of pranking_.

"Yeah," he said, "I do think it's amusing." Filch came up behind Umbridge mumbling something about whips and forms, and Fred smiled as he realized that those forms were fake. He nodded to George with a smile.

"You two," Umbridge was telling Fred and George, "Are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school."

"You know what?" Fred said, gripping his wand in his pocket. "I don't think we are. George, I think that we've outgrown full-time education."

Fred saw his twin look back to him and grab at something in his pocket. "yeah, I've been feeling that way myself," George said with a touch of humor and no care in the world.

"Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?"

"Definitely."

And they raised the wands they'd grabbed from their pockets and focused hard on their brooms: freedom.

"ACCIO BROOMS!"

* * *

As they flew through the air, Fred looked back at the castle they'd known as home for years. The stage that they began their business, and the ending finale to their reign as the true:

Kings of Hogwarts.

 ** _The end._**

* * *

A/N: thanks to everybody who joined me on this journey with the Weasley twins. I hope that you enjoyed their exploits at Hogwarts, and I hope that I was able to put a little more humanity into their pranking. Special shoutouts to those who followed: CBhistoryhpmusicals7, EternalVeritie, autumnangel1775, bloodshound, kaberg, and the impeccable ShawnN1987.

To Shawn especially: I want to thank you for supporting this and Book Theory.

To those who don't know: I have a story called Book Theory, which takes theories from the Harry Potter universe and throws in the charm of MatPat from Game theory. I would love it if you would check it out, and drop off a comment. I also have several other Harry Potter fanfictions, so check those out as well. And As Always: Have A Great Day. Dlahm OUT!


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